Only I can gain weight on Paleo.

I really wish I was kidding.

Let’s start at the beginning. I love all things bacony, carby, and sweet. Literally everything that wants to kill you when you eat it all together.

Image result for eating cake

I  have been with my amazing best friend and husband since the summer of 1999. We have both changed and here we are in our 40s with a 9 year old son.

As I start to look at pictures of me since 1999, I look at most of my pictures circa 2009-2012 are pretty bad (see below). I had my son in 2008 and at 32 years old, I figured I would and could lose weight the way I always had.

  1. Eat whatever the hell I want including quantities and calories.
  2. Drink whatever the hell I want including many girls nights outs with fruity drinks
  3. Exercise (aka go running for at least 2 miles)

Let’s just say the proof below shows that none of that was working.

(Clockwise: 2001, 2008, 2003, 2009)

So we were both working really great jobs, making really good money. But we were also still keeping our habits from our 20s. I was close to my pregnancy weight (again) and my husband was the heaviest he ever had been.

In 2011, my husband got really sick. Doctor said it was mono and he was working full time on his Masters of Divinity. He wasn’t getting better. His immunologist was doing what she believed was helpful but he just wasn’t improving. I was still working full time and in 2012 took a job where I traveled…a lot. Which means I gained weight again.

I have always been an up and down 10-20lbs.

Fast forward to 2015, we enter a jujitsu gym in our neighborhood. As a disclaimer, we love MMA as a couple and have always wanted to do it. Our favorite shows were anything UFC related and anything Food Network related. We walked in and over the course of a few months we started talking to the coach about health and nutrition. I mean the guy was kinda out there. But, he kept saying “sugar is poison.” Literally something that some hippie-dippie would say. I thought he was totally full of shit. He told us about his health issues and how something called keto changed all that. Gave us a website and we started reading.


My husband was the first adopter back in 2014 maybe 15 saying that we should eat healthier so let’s do paleo. Sure! I get to eat food still. I did weight watchers back in 2009 and did good but man it was such a pain in the ass to log all that food. So of course, I bounced.  So in the only Beth-way possible, I read all the Paleo stuff and just ate tons of bacon and fruit. I gained 5 lbs. For REALS pissed, I was done and went to go eat sushi and drink my venti Chai Tea latte.

One night when we were at the gym we were watching our son roll and he said he started to read through the stuff on the site and wants to do it. But we have to go all in. We have to throw away food, etc. I took a deep breath and said what the hell.











Up next time, the keto flu. How to get through it, what does it feel like, how soon do you get it…when it happens at the WORST possible time (see above)…all the T, hot and spicy from yours truly.

Your Favorite Ketotarian




One Comment Add yours

  1. Tina Meyer says:

    I am on the edge of my seat learning about the Keto Flu.

    Liked by 1 person

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